Not much to say

I feel like I've lost my oomph for blog writing a bit these days ,and every time I think of something and start writing I always end up thinking 'oh who cares?'
But here are a few things I have been up to lately, to fill the gap :
-lots of digging and weeding
-planting seeds indoors and out
-reading 50s/60s books about putting a wardrobe together
-sorting out a capsule - ish wardrobe (work in progress)
-drinking green smoothies
-making A Skirt (the first item of clothing I have made in years!)
-trying to keep my carpets clean
-celebrating will's 30th birthday. We went to the National botanical Gardens and had a picnic
-not eating gluten; I reluctantly cut out gluten from my diet (again, I was gluten free for much of my early twenties) because I have been in such rubbish health, really since having babies, but especially the last 6 months or so.. The difference I have felt has been amazing. I don't really like having the restriction, especially on top of being a vegan, it makes me generally inconvenient to whoever I'm with, but every time I think about eating something that doesn't agree with me I remind myself of how poorly I've felt and I just can't do it.
Anyway, on that note here are some pictures of us enjoying the event lovely weather. It's raining again now, back to normal!

What do you do?

Morning all! Another mild grey day here. Well, it's better than rain, or snow! Filled with the joys of spring (or just shame perhaps) I have been running around all morning cleaning my carpets. I try to do it every week or two but it's a job I tend to put off. And unlike most it's actually more boring and unpleasant than you build it up to be. I'm sure most people with a carpet cleaning machine would agree with me that while they wouldn't be without it, is is the dullest most frustrating chore. Anyway, having finished the hall and porch carpets and put away the machine I went into the lounge to discover that ivy had given Hazel half her banana, and instead of eat it Hazel decided to make banana angels in the carpet. Well I certainly wasn't getting the carpet cleaner out again, so hands and knees with a bowl of soapy water it was, and while I was there I might as well give the white lounge chair a going over as well, which seems to be covered with jam. Now I know I only washed that two days ago. That's all finished and put away, so I stand back to admire my work . Oh, there are toast crumbs everywhere. Well the hoover is upstairs now so that will have to wait until I've done upstairs, and that will have to wait until Hazel has had a nap now, et cetera et cetera. It leaves me wondering, how does anyone do it?? One child is manageable, but two, it just never ends. And what do you do? Not give ivy bananas? Tell her off for sharing? Tell a 7 month old off for being sticky? Or just watch them at all times and getting nothing done? I know some people manage because I've been to their houses and they're clean! So what's the secret??
Anyway, that's enough of that. Today looks to be a nice relaxed day. We will probably go to one of ivy's groups at the family centre once Hazel is awake (the hoovering will have to wait)  and then we need to pop into town to pick up a couple of things. That will probably take us around to about 3, which will leave me time to cook some potato and swede to pop on the top of some cottage pie mix I pulled out of the freezer last night.
For the last few weeks I have been following a meal plan I wrote out, and for whatever reason it has worked out so much better than it ever has in the past. I have accounted for dinner and wills lunch every day, and it has allowed me to get the most out of the food we have, use leftovers wisely rather than over eat, and have meals ready in the freezer. As long as it is working out for us it is definitely something I will keep up.
Anyway, that's about all, and I'm chilly and need to go off and find a cardi. Lovely day to all.

Digging for victory

We've had a busy old weekend here ; although the sunshine didn't manage to stretch all the way to the weekend, our motivation did and we've been tackling a lot of big jobs at the end of the garden. Most dramatically the polytunnel is up! Well, the frame is. We need to buy some anti hot spot tape and then stretch the fabric over. Our neighbour helped will to put the frame up and will help with the rest once we have the tape. We have also shifted tonnes of rubble and built a really big path which is along the wheelbarrow run which was getting very muddy. I have lifted the tarp off of the really big raised bed and raked it over ready to plant true spinach and parsnips, hopefully today. I have also started oodles of seeds indoors and washed my greenhouse, moved a willow tree and started generally tidying up pots and things.
Finally we can say 'the garden' without having to add 'and the bit at the back, WE DON'T GO THERE'
We need to clear and sow grass seed in the top right corner as that is where the huge trampoline will live now  and I would like to buy 5 or 6 rhubarb crowns and have rhubarb all along the right of the new path. I need to improve the drainage  but it is a sunny spot.
All in all, hurrah!!

I won't be the first person to comment on the weather today,  but isn't it a nice day?!
We have tried to make the most of it. We took a walk into the village to post a parcel this morning-I have been selling quite a few bits of clothes from my wealthier days in ebay to make a little cash to refresh my wardrobe. After a quick lunch and a little housework we shot into the garden and did very little. Hazel met grass for the first time and very much approved, so much she decided to have second helpings!! I managed a little weeding and had a wonderful time watching ivy run around like a loon.I'm sure this is the happiest she's has been in months and it filled me with joy.
I have been feeling a little better the last day or two, just getting on with our own thing and keeping busy. I guess it really doesn't matter too much feeling a little different and there's not much point worrying about what you can't change .
Dinner

A little lament

I know that I'm going to have to be a bit careful with what I say here, and think it's probably a good thing that I don't really have any readers to speak of. I'll also add the caviat that I am speaking for myself only. I am quite aware, as is becoming increasingly clear, that I am a little unusual on this one. So here we go.
Probably for the whole of my adult life, but especially since having children and settling in our forever home here, I have been feeling increasingly out of step, and I am feeling a little bothered by it at the moment to be honest, although I know there's not really much I can do (apart from have a little moan - and here we are!)
I remember when I was about 18 or so and studying for my art foundation and started working on my application for art school, we had these mentoring sessions to help us with our application. My tutor asked me what I wanted to do once I had my degree in art. The answer was easy, I just wanted to be a housewife. He was not impressed. I studied art for the love of it, not for my career prospects (which is just as well!)
Before then even, I have always (okay  mostly) been quite traditional. Had a dress sense best described as vaguely vintage. Made my own clothes, baked and cooked, grown vegetables, and had a bottom drawer. Things that set me apart from my friends at college  but which fitted me best 
I haven't changed, but in the last ten years have met my husband, bought our house in the country, had two children, and now find myself at odds with other people in the same position as me. It has been better since leaving the city, where it seems unless you have chosen to homeschool, start your own business, or preferably both, you have no valid reason to opt out of the world of work and stay at home to raise your children and look after your house and husband. It feels frustrating that my decision to marry in my early twenties  have children and be settled before I'm thirty has been met with so much more criticism then if I had remained in my university town and mingled about with artists trying to make a career out of it. 40 or 50 years ago this would have been the norm, and instead of finding myself at odds with my peers I would have found myself a part of a community. As it is, I do not know a single person from university who has taken this path, not one.
I suppose my lament is that I feel very strongly that I am living a good life, the best life for me and my family, and truly the life I have always dreamed of, but it is made so much harder and more lonely by living in the 'wrong time'
Like a lot of people my age, my parents split up when I was young and eventually divorced and remarried. My mum went back to work when I was young and wasn't much of a homemaker; she doesn't knit or sew, fix things, or really have any interest in baking or gardening, so I feel there is so much I have had to learn, and am still learning, as an adult that could have been second nature to me. I have a nice group of mum friends in the village, but we don't share the same interests. I am often called Supermum for doing things like baking bread or making jam, and instead of flattered I am annoyed by it. I wish these things were unremarkable.
We have tried the church here a few times, and will probably go back once things are easier with the girls, but there is no community to speak of there. It is all but empty, and the sermons seem to mainly consist of complaining about the fact. And while I'm on a roll, I don't much like being forced to drive to the supermarket because all of the local shops have closed down  I don't want to be shouted at to buy buy buy things I neither want nor need. I hate my smartphone and wish there was a way I could get rid of it without totally isolating myself. As it is I've done enough damage in removing myself from social media. I wish there was an obvious way for will to socialise and get to know people here. It seems like most men his age are at a very different stage of life and just want to play computer games after work. Our local pub has been closed for a year now.
I guess that's all just a long way off saying I'm feeling a little lonely. Wouldn't it be nice if we just lived in communities with people exactly like ourselves? Well, perhaps not.
At least I can uphold my fantasy of living in times gone by on my little lane. I have a very nice house with a very nice garden, three very nice neighbours, and no noise or traffic at all! I guess I don't have too much to complain about.
Does anyone have any idea what I'm on about??