November rundown

Non-consumables/non-essentials I have bought:

Total: £264.47
Of which Christmas gifts £80.92

Christmas dress for my oldest, second hand £12

Christmas dress for me, second hand £14.10

Replacement part for knitting machine £6.39

Notebooks & pens for girls from post office £5.30

Book for my oldest from a charity shop £1

New travel coffee flask £31.95

Top from charity shop £3 (didn't suit me, have listed on ebay so will almost definitely recoup)  (Sold £6.50)

2x Jumpers from charity shop £11 - could have lived without these, but they weren't an impulse purchase, 'bog standard'  jumpers are something I just don't really have and was missing in my wardrobe, I went around charity shops looking for them

Christmas dress for my youngest, second hand £16.11

Christmas gift for H £11

Tickets to see screening of the Nutcracker at our local cinema £38

Two dresses from charity shop £12.50 (Really didn't need to buy these, was feeling a bit low and wanted a pick me up. One of them, I knew wouldn't fit because it's actually the wrong size but bought it anyway because I'm insane. One is a good fit and will get a lot of wear at least)

A dress and a cardi from vinted £11.50. I'm insane.

New earphones £5.99 - I broke mine

Mattress protectors x2 £14.76

Castor oil £9..95 - recommended by my mum for my joints

Soap/candle making garb £31.92

Extra £30 for girls clothes

Thing we have gotten for free:

Knitting pattern friend photocopied for me

Nearly new mattress for my youngest

A butternut squash!

Bed slats - found in street, genuinely needed these

Full Brownies uniform from Freecycle - my youngest will move up from Rainbows to Brownies next year

Cushion pad from a sofa which I will cut into the right shape to replace one missing on our boat

A dress & little bottle of perfume given to me by a friend

I seem to have dropped off towards the end of the month again. I can say that I did spend about £30 on wax, wicks and soap base to make some Christmas presents for people. I'm pretty sure I didn't buy any more clothes after my bout of madness. The girls needed some clothes and they had some birthday money which I topped up with an extra £15 each. It's been a better month than last (couldn't be worse) but I have still way overspent. I'm a work in progress.

I have also sold about £270 worth of things on ebay, the money from which I have saved for Christmas. I'll be going Christmas shopping for the girls and to buy Christmas food next week.

Nice Things

 One thing I say often is that there will always be more Nice Things to buy. 

More often than not I'm either saying this to my girls, or to my mother, who sometimes has a hard time saying no to the Nice Thing. 

In the past I have been a lot more attached to stuff than I am now. I have always enjoyed Nice Things (I think most people do) and am a very visual and tactile person. I like to own the Nice Thing, and be able to handle it and admire it again and again. But as I get older it becomes clearer how owning the Nice Thing also means that you have to care for it. The more Things you have to care for, the less care (and time) there is to go around, and so the Nice Things become a drain on your resources. And over time as you become more tired of caring for the Nice Things, the nice things get dirty and shabby, and their magic is often lost. 

That's not to say I live in a white minimalist cube now, I don't. I still have a house full of Nice Things. Still too many in fact. But if I give away, or even lose or break a Nice Thing now, I see that it's just one of many, one of millions upon millions of Nice Things in the world and it means nothing really. Equally, seeing a Nice Thing in the wild and either not being able to, or choosing not to buy it, doesn't hurt me anymore.

That's all good. It does however make the quantity of Nice Things that are on the shelves in every shop rather overwhelming, when you view them not as the Nice Thing that will change your life, but just another drop in the ocean of Nice Things that one might buy this week, month, year, and discard the next. I hope this is a point that I can express to my children somehow, basically that's it all just tat. And it's okay to own a little of it, but you mustn't think it means anything. 

Another little thought it one I know I have mentioned in the past, which is that in recent years, really since the arrival of internet shopping in a big way, and nasty tat from sweat shops in China, the nature of Nice Things has changed in a way that I think particularly affects young people. In the past if you wanted to own something really special, you would probably either have to spend a lot of money, trawl antique or curio shops, or get crafty. There is simply so much available now that you can probably imagine absolutely anything in the world, any item that you could dream up, and discover that it exists, and it is available, and in all likelihood affordable for you. Let's do an experiment, what I can I think of that I might want?***

Dress with a snail on it - Exists

Tights with mushrooms - Exists

Earrings with moss inside - Exists

Large print of the birth of Venus - Exists

Autumn coloured floaty dress - Exists

Green brogues - Exists

Forest coloured area rug - Exists - Actually I found one that I really like, and really really want, but will not be buying

** This actually was quite difficult as can't really think of anything I want, so just tried to imagine some nice things. Also was going to post links as proof but really didn't want to feel like I was advertising everything. I simply googled each idea and looked under the shopping tab - there were many, many matching results for all, many of them on temu or shein, all had options under £50, many were under £20. I'm only grateful that none of this was an option when I was younger, I can only imagine how insane it drives girls in their teens and twenties trying to adorn themselves perfectly to reflect their newly forming identities. 

Reminder

 Ordered myself a secondhand party-ish dress online, for about £13 including postage. I justified it because we will be having our usual Christmas party, I have the church Christmas lunch, and a few other Christmas parties lined up as well. Despite that I feel nothing but guilt, because I have things in my wardrobe that would be adequate. If this is how badly I feel about ordering one item I *almost* need, I need to imagine how bad I'd been buying anything else that I certainly don't.

New month, new expecations

 In the last week of the month things snowballed - I also needed to buy the girls some new clothes and wellies (about £100), I bought a book for myself (about £15) which I didn't need but really really wanted. In addition to that I also had to pay for the new kittens to have their injections & chips put in (about £130) so in all it was not a low spend month, and honestly by the end things were pretty squeaky and what little saving we had were hovering around zero.

It's a new month and there's always the chance to turn things around. 

I have listed a bunch of my things on ebay, and am planning to go through the house looking for anything else I can sell, although I suspect there is very little. But for anything I do sell, the money will go straight into savings and hopefully at least replenish the cost from the kittens, if not their vet expenses as well. 

I am also planning to buy some more earring hooks (a small expense, about £5 for 25 pairs) and get to making some more earrings, and this time try listing them on ebay rather than etsy. I've come to the conclusion that etsy is not only expensive but also difficult to use. With ebay being free to sell on now, I think a lot more people will go back to using it, particularly artisans. Even if I make ten pairs of earrings and they sit there for a long time, I would only need to sell two or three pairs eventually to recoup, and it would be a creative outlet for me. 

There is very little to say on top of that. I will endevour to spend very little this month, especially with Christmas coming up, the thought of which brings me out in a sweat. And I will do my best to make pocket money here and there to top up our savings.