Turning point

 Have I finally reached rock bottom, and am now starting to come back up?

What an unusual week it's been in lots of ways. Last Wednesday I sent an email to get in touch with three old friends, who I think I haven't spoken to in at least 10 years, but who when I was 17/18, we did everything together, and had so many surreal and unlikely adventures. It was such a magical and formative time in life, and one that has been completely left behind, and almost forgotten until recently because it represented a part of my character that I have been trying to make obsolete. I have heard back from two of them and it has been a real joy. I want to spend more time going back to that place and recapturing the remarkable joy and freedom that we were lucky enough to find. 

I don't know if it was prompted by this tentative soul-searching, but on Friday a friend of mine asked if I would help her out at the bar she works in, and although that is something I would always naturally say no to, I did my best to resist that and offered to help instead, and it was fine. It wasn't my favourite work in the world, but it was fine, and quite freeing to do something outside of your comfort zone. 

Not exactly out of my comfort zone, but then on Sunday I went for a long-delayed swim in the sea, my first since December. The sea is at its coldest now at this time of year, and boy was it painful. But also very freeing. 

This week I am going to get up earlier than I need to, I am going to get as much done in the house as I have energy for, I am going to be kind to my children and I am going to reach out and give people in my life my time. I am going to work hard at my job, and I am going to turn this horror show around.