Almost got me!

 The weather is definitely cooling as we roll into Autumn. Not that it every got especially warm, save that couple of weeks at the beginning of summer. Back then I asked will to put my bags of jumpers up into the loft, and this morning I asked him to take them down again. I also pulled out a pair of tights for the first time - I'm not going to pretend it's not tights weather anymore. 

After this I found myself saying to Will, I'd better get myself some new tights this year. I think a few of mine are bobbly or have holes in the toe. All of my tights are from Snag (which, if you have the money, are excellent tights), so I thought I'd splash out a buy a few more pairs to see me through winter. Even better, when I went on the website I saw there was a clearance section with plenty in my size in colours and patterns I love. 5 pairs of tights for £35, what a deal! I was just about to transfer the money over from savings and buy them when I caught myself. Wait 'til later I thought, and we'll see how you feel. I went for a walk and got on with some normal morning stuff, and when I got back £35 on tights seems like a ridiculous price. If I need any tights as winter goes on - I don't actually need any yet - then I can go to Marksies and buy a couple of sensible black pairs, and that will do me just as well. 

It's so important to be reminded again and again how addictive and manipulative all of this online shopping is, how it convince you that you need things that you don't, and how you are getting a bargain on these things that you didn't need!

I think a part of me also really resents now that it's so easy to buy really 'quirky', imaginative clothes now. So many people I know are prancing about wearing mass-produced  pinafore dresses with embroidered mushrooms or sweatshop crochet cardigans from shein, made by slaves. It's hard to articulate this, but before all of this stuff was so readily available, if you wanted something really special, you had to make it or at least customise it. And then that was a way of expressing yourself. I don't want to fit some pre-made mould of what a trendy middle aged woman should look like. I would rather make my own skirt and cardigans and feel really good about that, and pair them with boring black tights, which I can't make. Does any of that make sense?