Odds and ends

 This morning while the girls are busying away designing their dream house together I divided up all of the odds and ends of bread I've saved this week to make croutons and breadcrumbs. I do this every week or two, and it's remarkable the amount you can save, and the breadcrumbs are so handy, and the kids love croutons with soup. And while I was doing that my mind wandered to two places. One, is a blog post I made some years ago while we were still living in Cwmgors. I'm not sure when exactly, before we had decided to move, almost certainly before lockdown even, but when we had been there long enough for the loneliness to begin to creep in. I remember writing about how I was so happy in what I was doing, the gardening, my two girls, the homemaking, everything that came with it, but that I was sad and isolated and sorry that these things set me apart from others. I felt so desperate that perhaps I might never fit in (and in the event, I never did). Perhaps because I was making breadcrumbs and thinking of being resourceful, and also thinking of Cwmgors, my mind then went to my dear friend Pam, one of the shining lights of our time there. We have fallen out of touch now (although if you read this Pam, I would like it if you wanted to get in touch) but I think of her so often and of all of the things that she taught me. Lots of very practical things. Lots of mindsets as well. I think I would be a completely different person had I not had her as a friend and mentor. 

I have quite a lot of friends now, and a strong community, but I do not have a friend like Pam. It makes me want to reach out more and be more giving of myself and my time to the people around me, and treat them with the love and support that I was shown during those strange years. When looking for ways to spend my time now that Will is out in the office all day, that it where I should be looking.