Some thoughts on stuff

 I had a thought last night about social media, which although not particularly profound or original, felt quite shocking to me.

If you disregard all of the things that social media, let's say facebook, is 'useful' for - buying and selling second hand things, getting in touch with companies and tradespeople, finding out about local goings on, keeping in contact with friends and neighbours etc etc. This is all stuff that existed and which we were able to do before social media. So if we disregard all of that, what it exists for, what keeps it going, are these two things:

1. Provides a platform on which to perform, create 'content', to be watched

2. To watch

Both of these things are unnatural and unhealthy. They will lead to comparing your life, your real life, to a choreographed product, and eventually massive mental distress. If you are the watcher then not only to do you have the stress of comparing your own unglamorous life to others, but there is also the additional layer of living vicariously though what other people are doing, rather than putting energy and love into your own life. 

I could go on and on,  but anybody who has ever experienced social media will already recognise all of this, and how, at best, exhausting it is. So I have come off of social media,  not for the first time, but hopefully the last. I am happy to keep this blog as I enjoy writing it, I enjoy reading thoughtful, put together posts from other people, but I can no longer stand super fast paced platforms like instagram where you are bombarded with 30 thoughts a minute, snapshots of peoples' perfect lives and perfect achievements. 

I am lucky to have such a beautiful life, beautiful home, beautiful family, None of these things are perfect. I have peeling wallpaper and mess and arguments and I am late for things. 

Anyway, that's that. Hopefully a line can be drawn and I have one less thing to feel anxious about. 

I have been knitting a jumper for one of the girls. I'm not sure which one, as Will is also going to knit a jumper with the same wool, and they can have one each. I have been working hard to improve my knitting technique and am really pleased with how this is going. I have nearly finished the front now, so will just have the sleeves and neckline to complete. After that I have a lot of project I have to get to work on for the girls' winter clothes, and for Christmas presents. I've left it all too late really - next year I am starting in January. 

The girls and I have been decorating our window for Halloween. they have loved it, and keep adding to it, and Ivy tells me every time somebody passes it and it makes them smile. She is getting such pleasure out of knowing that it is cheering other people up.

I went shopping yesterday and got a bit overwhelmed by all of the Christmas and Halloween stuff everywhere. It's such a conflict, because my initial reaction when I see a costume or something is to look at it for the girls. Especially this year, I then conclude that we can't afford it. Then I feel fed up that I haven't got the money to buy nice things for the girls. Then I feel resentful that it is 'the norm' to buy all of these costumes and decorations and keep spending spending spending on cheap crap, made by slaves, which is destined for landfill. Then I feel dismayed that neither I, nor anybody I know really has the skills to make costumes etc. The whole thing is pretty deflating. But as always, the answer is to seize power. I can improve my skill at making things. I can go around charity shops and cobble together a few pieces and make alterations. I can talk to the girls about what they actually want to do /wear for halloween. We don't have to feel poor. The girls have had the loveliest time making window decorations from sugar paper we had in the cupboard.

I sold a couple of things in the last couple of weeks - the big cat tower and a pair of doc martens, which between theme came to about £85. I'm sure I could find more to sell, which will have the dual benefit of a little extra  money and less stuff to worry about. The cats instead have a box, which to be honest I think they like better anyway, of course.

I may have mentioned already but we made some hedgerow syrup for winter coughs and sniffles. I have also been making a few batches of jellies and jams. so far we have had all of the fruit foraged or given to us, and all of the jars either saved, found or given to us by people, so the only thing we have had to buy is sugar, which thankfully is still cheap.

Time for me to go now anyway. I've been in a bit of a funk and just don't seem to be getting anywhere, but we are seeing family at the weekend and I'm tied up all day tomorrow, so today must be a day of laundry, cleaning and baking. 

I hope everyone is feeling better than I am. I hope that these hard times will bring about a cultural change where we are all able to make ourselves useful to be other, rather than living such insular mixed up lives. Perhaps this is the start of a new era.