Resolutions

I wanted to remove this blog as I generally feel so uneasy about the internet, social media, and any involvement with either, but I find I am still hankering after somewhere to lay down my outpourings about the future, apocalyptic fears, and crochet. 

I don't know, maybe I'm here, maybe I'm not. 

I am still off of facebook and instagram, and strangely this time I truly haven't looked back. I don't find that I am wishing I still had it for this or that reason, I don't feel any more lonely than I did (probably a bit less lonely as at least in real life your loneliness isn't so in your face), and I don't feel that twitch that I might be missing out. I also have remained without a smartphone, although I have put Whatsapp onto a laptop my Dad gave me and have been using that. It's not ideal but it's more similar to straight forward texting - which also isn't ideal but apparently is just the way it is now, suck it up. 

I genuinely would, if I could, remove the internet and every change it has made to the world, good or bad. But I can't. In fact it seems that I can't even remove it from my own life (can't or won't), but I hope that there are many things I can do to be more present in the life that I'm actually living. 

Well it's a new year, and New Year is a time for resolutions. I usually reel out a great long list. Get thinner, work harder, get more exercise, make friends, be nicer, be better etc etc. 

They all amount to the same, do what works and do it well, and do less of things that don't work. 

So I can't think of too many specific resolutions this year. I will of course improve my health which it has become clear is getting worse and worse as I get older. Illnesses like cancer and heart disease, diabetes etc are so widespread and for the most part preventable, and begin with complacency.

My Mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer last year. She had breast cancer 10 years ago and had a series of quite heavy treatments which she never really recovered from, and after a few miserable years of life stress her body obviously couldn't fight it off any more and it has come back. My mum is being incredibly proactive and has made herself as knowledgable as possible, and fully intends to recover. The body works fantastically well when it is supported properly - and by this I mean a diet full of organic veggies and devoid of sugar and processed foods, lots of exercise, lots of laughing and good times, and a generally positive and life-enriching outlook. 
After all of the pain my poor Mum has been through with her health it is the most offensive thing I can think of that I shouldn't follow suit and make some big changes to my diet and lifestyle. So more than resolutions, here is what I need to change, and my plan to live past 50:

Drink less or no alcohol - obviously I drink far too much. Alcohol is a carcinogen, a fact that I only recently learned! It's really quite bad for you, and honestly it doesn't make you feel much better

Cut out refined sugar entirely - there is nothing in biscuits that encourages your body to keep living. 

Get exercise every day - I enjoy being fit and strong, I enjoy exercise, so why exactly to I spend so much time sat down?

Cut back/remove chemical household & shower etc products - these definitely are bad for you and full of all sorts of poisons which don't promote any kind of good health. 

Change the food we eat to organic - same again

This is an important one - spend more time doing things that make me enjoy my life and less things that make me wound up and stressed. My life in the past few years seems to have become this dark room, where I only allow things onto my radar when they are things I have to deal with, find a solution for, or generally chew over and let stress me out. I'm a mess. 

I can't remember where this is going. Please God let this year be better. I think I have said that since 2020. Maybe this will be the turning point. 

Oh, I also resolve to do things when I say I'm going to do them - my very worst quality.