Toadstool

 Well I finished the toadstool jumper for my Mum, which I posted and arrived to her today. I so enjoyed making it - the toadstool squares were easy but not dull, and I loved making something I knew would really please Mum. I am also planning a jumper for my brother which I am intending to incorporate toadstools into, but it seems like my yarn has gotten lost in the post, which is hugely annoying. Probably by the time it arrives winter will be over. Teach me to order online, but with Shaws closing down there aren't that many local options for buying yarn, and I wanted something special in any case. 

It's been a bit of a week at work (so far) and I have been in such a pit of gloom over my job, my life, my purpose. When we were in Cwmgors with a huge garden and two little girls running around in it, I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing every day, and it all felt so vivid and like it mattered so much. Now the girls are in school, there is no big garden for me to care for, and I have taken on paid work partly out of necessity and partly out of plain boredom, and I'm not really sure if it feels right. I have thought about doing some volunteering instead, which I'm certain I would prefer, but I can't deny the fact that the cost of everything has doubled, or nearly doubled, and honestly we could do with the money.

I don't know. I need to give it time and see if an answer comes to me. This is just so far from what we had planned. I never wanted to spend the girls' childhood sat at a desk while the house falls down around me. And now I don't have time to clean, or bake, or grow things, or anything.

Moan moan whine whine. I don't even work full time and honestly I don't know how people who do manage. 

Best be off. I have 15 minutes to have a good old clear up. Really my biggest problem is laziness and procrastination - hopefully conditions I can overcome.